Fear

Here is C’s response to the latest prompts:

“What is something everyone around you seems unbothered by that quietly terrifies you?
or
What is something that doesn’t frighten you at all that seems to terrify everyone else?
and
What does this say about you or them?”

One thing that terrifies me that a lot of people enjoy or even priotize is spending time by myself. When you first think about it, you’d expect the fear would stem from me feeling unsafe. I would be scared something might happen to me and no one would be there to protect me or even know what happened. But that’s not it at all. No need to worry, I can defend myself. What it really boils down to is I’m scared I’m wasting my time. Our time is so limited on earth and with eachother I’m constantly worried I’m not making the most of it. I value the people I love and my connections more than anything. I’d much rather sit in silence next to my best friend not even interacting, than sit by myself doom scrolling or in my own thoughts. So my fear of being alone really revolves around me wasting my time or that I’m making the wrong choices for my life. I guess this is a pretty multifaceted fear, but I’m scared of a lot of things. I knew this. I’m a big scaredy cat. Right now my life is mainly a result of my fears, not my choices or courage. I dont know, it doesnt sound great but in the end I’m prioritizing what matters to me. Sometimes I think you need fear as a driving factor in your life, or you’ll become too stagnant. But it might be helpful to have just a little less fear than what I’m working with.